Drew Bekius on HumanistCoach.com

Drew Bekius on HumanistCoach.com

Support for the Secular Community

A fancy neon-light image politely asking that readers don't be a dick.

Don’t Be a Dick: Contemplations for a Less Dickish World  If you’re human, chances are likely that you’ve told someone at some point to stop being a dick. “Don’t be a dick,” you’ve said. None of us like dickishness. Especially when it comes from a source other than ourselves. This morning I stumbled into an anecdote of sorts, one that got me thinking along these lines. Please allow me to share. An Anecdote on the Power of Non-Dickishness As I try to do most days, I began this one with a walk. One of the benefits of living a block off Chicago’s lakeshore is the millions of miles worth of bushes and trees and otherwise-green-lined walkways. And so I try […]

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An image of a pig with the word TOPS on it, because this page shares Drew Bekius' top posts ever.

The Best of HumanistCoach.com: Top Posts Revisited I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. And yet somehow I am. I started this blog (originally as DrewBekius.com) in August 2013, and five whole years later, the most popular posts remain distinctively autobiographical. It’s largely the ones that chronicle my deconversion from the evangelical Christian faith and pastorate. Five years later, this blog (now at HumanistCoach.com) largely focuses on subjects of interest to the post-faith community, especially to my fellow former pastors. Things like discerning what you DO believe in to giving wisely with the best charities to navigating “The Sex Talk” with your kids. And yet, even above all others, it’s my deconversion that readers seem most interested in. I guess that’s one […]

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After contemplating the benefits of pain, a man steps out into his life as a better human.

Does Pain Make Us Better Humans? I’ve read about the benefits of pain before. Though this was mostly back in my former life. Back when I embraced the messed-up theological idea that God intentionally infuses bad things into our lives in order to humble us for our own good, so that we can see how his ways are better and higher than our ways. The point of pain, so we believed, was for God to break down our arrogance and independence. It also helped us “enter into the sufferings of Christ,” more fully molding us into the image of Christ. Per our destiny. I’ll be honest. Since my deconversion, I’ve not found it easy to embrace the idea that pain […]

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A cartoonish looking yellow character stands on the beach with a large smile, thinking encouraging thoughts.

Good thinks and encouraging thoughts. We all need them. A little boost to get us through the day. A happy image to motivate our drive to the finish line. Maybe it’s a moment of thankfulness, a meditative afternoon on the lakeshore, or hell, even the cat picture you keep taped inside your dashboard. The current of life flows a little easier when we take time to remind ourselves of why we’re working so hard and of what it’s all for. Of what makes it all worth it. Let’s be honest. This can be one hell of a rough world we find ourselves in. Now I don’t know about you, but if you find yourself like all the other humans out […]

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A father speaks with his son because as a humanist parent it's important that you are talking with your kids about sex.

Of all the burdens of parenthood, talking to your kids about sex can be one of the most terrifying. Even for humanists, just thinking about having The Talk with our kids can send tremors of paralysis through every nervous corner of our bodies. Whether we fear not having the right info, explaining it incorrectly, or simply appearing as awkward as our own parents were when they had The Talk with us, the fear is real. But it doesn’t have to be. Talking with your kids about sex doesn’t have to be scary at all. And your willingness to do so will better equip them for safe, healthy, satisfying sex lives. It might feel weird to say it, but this is […]

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A group of secular friends raise glasses in a toast of celebration for the community they share.

“I recommend that everybody here join all sorts of organizations, no matter how ridiculous, simply to get more people in his or her life.” —Kurt Vonnegut, Palm Sunday: An Autobiographical Collage  Let’s talk about community. Specifically, let’s talk about finding your own local secular community. As in, a group of people to walk through life with you, to be there for you and support you. And who also, like you, just so happen to come at life from a no-gods, humanist perspective. Now, some of us who’ve had positive past experiences with church when we were believers would absolutely love to to recreate that kind of community as something like a church for atheists. Others of us had terrible religious […]

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